I just completed my new website and I’m SO happy with how it turned out! But when I was compiling the ABOUT ME page I realized that the last post I did that was a personal post was the one about Evelyn’s birth…nearly a year ago.

Where did the last year go?

Somewhere between dirty diapers, running two businesses, a lack of sleep, figuring out sleep regressions, nursing, and trying to maintain a social life, I seem to have left out one of the most important people of my life! If you’ve been following along on Instagram and watch my stories, you’ll see sweet Eddy Sue toddling through the house and getting into mischief with her BFF Lilo (our 65 pound pit-pointer-heeler who is great with Eddy but is kind of an asshole; we love her anyway). But when it comes to the blog, I’ve been trying to crank out those weddings and have been focusing less on the personal stuff.

But I think it’s important that you learn about the woman behind the camera too. And I’m trying to be more present about myself and not hide behind the curtain of mystery.

That being said, it’s hard to write a summary of an entire year. I probably should have done one at the 6 month mark, but life was busy and she celebrated 6 months of being on this earth the day after Christmas – and I don’t have to tell all of you other moms out there how crazy the holidays are with family. Especially when we traveled 4500 miles to see ours!

So here are my thoughts on one year as a mama.

The first four months of Eddy’s life were the slowest months of my entire life. I attribute this to lack of sleep, nursing woes, and finding balance between work and momming. We ended up getting a nanny when Eddy was three months old. That helped SO much so I could work, still nurse, and have uninterrupted periods of time to take phone calls and get some things done for my businesses.

But the second six months of her life, months 6-12, flew by in a blink of an eye. It went really, really fast. I feel like I’m still trying to catch up. And then the mommy-shame comes on full bore.

Am I spending enough time with her?

Is she being properly socialized?

Should we be checking out pre-schools now? I heard they’re hard to get into!

and the worst of them all: Am I good enough?

I’ve always felt I would be a good mother. I’ve always enjoyed children – but when you finally make one yourself, it’s hard not to play the comparison game with other moms. I had to unfollow some awesome mamas on Insta because I just couldn’t stop comparing their lifestyle to mine. I was inspired, but also overwhelmed because there was no way I could run two businesses and homeschool (which I don’t intend on doing) and create amazing plant-based meals every night for the family. I guess I’m just not that kind of mom.

But that’s OK. Or, at least, I’m learning that’s OK.

I have much more to say about all of this, but that’s for a subsequent blog post that I’ll be doing later this summer. I’ll be sure to link it when I complete it.

But really, I’m here to talk about Eddy Sue. The girl that made me a mother.

In the first year, this is what I’ve learned about my daughter.

She takes time to observe before she dives in. When she comes into a room, she wants to survey the whole thing on her own terms before she’s ready to be social.

Loud noises are terrifying for her. The blender. The coffee grinder. The vacuum (though the Roomba is ok). A sudden loud bark from Lilo. A bunch of people simultaneously cooing at her. Clapping and shouting. She hates it all.

She loves avocado, banana (which she thinks are hilarious), her shoes, the ocean, and her books.

She’s a champion sleeper. And I’m knocking on wood as I type that. We established sleep routines relatively early and they seem to be working in our favor. In the mornings she wakes up and just plays in her crib until I come get her.

It’s so strange getting to know this little person that your DNA created. Like – my body built a person and she has a personality. A little bit me and a little bit my husband (well, let’s be honest, she looks EXACTLY like Anthony) – but a little bit herself too.

This year has taught me an immeasurable amount.

…about balance. About love. About friends. About motherhood and parenting. About marriage maintenece. About priorities. About the glorification of busy-ness and learning to love the down time.

And I’m still sifting through all of it. Especially the balance part.

And there’s so much more to learn. And Evelyn is teaching me every day how to become a better version of myself. She challenges me and loves on me – and then headbutts me on accident and cries. And I console her even though I’m seeing stars too. Parenthood is a funny thing, and I expect it’s going to get even funnier.

So enjoy these images I’ve complied of Evelyn throughout the last year. They’re only from the time I picked up the big-girl camera, but it’s fun to relive the last 365, even if it’s the polished version.

Newborn images by Cadencia  // 5 month photos by Mariah Milan // 9 month photos by Brittany Gidley // One year photos – and the header of this post – by NV Maui Media // Hair and Makeup in one year photos by Amanda Hart // Haku for one year photos by Hakus by Nicole

So there it is: the first year of Evelyn’s life.

This next year will likely be just as transformative as the last. We have a possible house coming down the line (we’ll know more after July 25), some really cool trips planned, and…we’ll be on the brink of the terrible twos.

When you first announce you’re pregnant, people say things like “Sleep now” or “Everything is going to change!”

But what they don’t tell you is how this will be the hardest and best thing you’ve ever done.

So happy birthday, Sweet Eddy Sue. I promise I’ll write more about you and our adventures together. You’ve made me a better woman and I can’t wait to see what the next year has in store.

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…and if you want an even closer look at her life, here’s her first year, one second at a time.